Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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