Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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