He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
