Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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