dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
