I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
