I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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