Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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