How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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