he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
