She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
