My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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