A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
