I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
