He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
