Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
