I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
