Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
