the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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