Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
