We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize