someone threw a dead crab at me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
