Your mouth is God's brothel.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
