Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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