Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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