i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
