Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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