Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
