so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize