I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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