i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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