lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
