dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she pinky promised me she was 18
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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