Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How external is "for external use only"?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
