we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
