Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
