i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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