Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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