does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
