I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
