i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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