I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
