no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
