so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
