Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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