How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
