then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
