We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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