Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
