everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
