Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
