youre lurking in front of me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize