I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
