My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
