need another drink. this is the easiest way
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
