How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize