Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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