now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
