No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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