After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize