so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
