carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Damn victory sex feels great
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
