ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize