glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize