hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
