okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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