I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize