did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
