Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
