Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
