This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
