Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
