If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
