My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
