And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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