hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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