Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Holy shit dude........stairs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
