Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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