I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
